Category Archives: de Luain

de Luain updates

I began cutting out the pages.

I can’t believe I am actually that far that after half a year (you gotta love the rhythmic flow of this) staring at the paper I finally am in stage that I am cutting out the pages! Few months back I did the patterns for them that I could use to combine all the pages I had figured out. But then moving cut in and it all got hidden away waiting for better times.

Now the time is here and with the New Moon I dug it all out and began drawing the pages out on that huge scroll of paper one by one, odd one with the odd one :). It will not look perfectly even on the side, but hey, it’s my book and with the number of odd pages that will be in it it there will never be even edges or golden protective liners or anything of the sort. However it will be the perfect for anyone like me!

I was surprised actually how easy it felt to draw the first pages and cut them out roughly before placing them under press for few weeks. They should flatten out nicely over time before I sew them together and bend before sewing the blocks together. I need to think about that a bit, how would be the best way to do it, because like always – I don’t quite have the right tools yet.

I haven’t got the right glue or the fabric to go inside either…

Still, I’m very exited and it looks the right kind of handwork to meddle with in between writing sessions and, as you’ve probably noticed, I’m doing a lot of that lately.

I’m not sure if I should write in the blocks before I sew them together, or decorate it beforehand on the edges or do it after I have it all in one book. I’m guessing that I should at least decorate the edges before I even begin to sew it all together – after I have bent the pages according to the plans. Because it is always easier to paint the pages if they are still flat and I do plan to do paint them with acrylics. Later I can do the capitals and text, but the edges should come before.

And I don’t feel like going nuts at all!

Wait for it… wait for it… I’ll come back to that “going nuts” later, ok?

Yes, it will be a show-off piece, but you know, if you have a book like that it is far more interesting to tab in the unknown :).


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de Luain updates

As my Christmas didn’t work out quite as calm as serene I was hoping, I dedicated yesterday to something totally different to get my mind off of things. So instead I played a puzzle game called “What would be the best way to insert odd pages in Luain?”

It was quite an interesting game apparently, because after I finally made a small model of the signature variations, I was quite pleased how they turned out – not heavy on one side or the other, but equally distributed with “normal” (that’s Nr. 1) pages in between.  Making smaller models of big projects is a must-have – this one showed me where I could add a bit more and where I needed to take something off. Altogether I ended up with 9 different versions of signature models for 13 signatures.

Why I’m so obsessed making models of Luain and how it turns out, is because I have quite a lot of information, but limited supply for paper (though one would see the roll and say I have great deal of it) and smaller size of notebook to put it all in.

13 signatures isn’t much. Though the old version of the notebook had only 5, they were big, robust and made of thick paper. So instead I’m making 13 thin paper ones. If I would make it with normal pages, Nr. 1, it would allow me to press in 15 of them at least. Buuut I’m not normal and if I get to do it my way, I have the opportunity to kick the normal and go with insane!

I  opted not to add the odd pages by gluing them in. Though it would give me the “put them in as the need comes for it” option, it also reminds me my old Book of Shadows, which have a lot of glued pictures in them – glues don’t last. I have at least 8 different versions used in them in the past 8 to 10 years and in the past year I’ve had to re-glue almost all of them. Except the most natural flour glue ones, but I am finding difficult to get that flour and well, if to make something, better get it done in one turn rather than repairing the consequences.

Which brought me to another problem. I only have one opportunity to add them. So why be scrimp?  Extra space in my notebooks never are unused – there’s always some small 3-4 ingredient spice mix, spell mix, oil mix one can scribble there. Or just go nuts on one free moment and illustrate the whole thing.

So! To solve that problem, I want them to last, right? So instead of designing one page at a time, I need to look at bigger picture – the whole 6 page signature and design it so they would work together. It doesn’t mean crazy assigning on how many pages something needs and designing keeping the topic in mind (though, I have already a bit done that as I know most of the info I need in there), but simply that the odd pages work together with each other so it would in the end look like it was meant that way.

Ok, so with such introduction, I proudly present you the set of my odd pages:

I would like to point out that what you see here is just an example. In reality, you can play around all of them in any way you like and get any results you want.

You need to look at them sort of like signature examples – 1 row = 1 signature with 6 being the middle page. If you open up sewn signature, this means the blue is left side pages, the green is right side pages and the yellow is the additional paper added to the page. The numbers inside the yellow indicate proportions compared with 1 page, so 1 means actually 1:1, 1/2 is half of the page, and so on. The circles and squares in corners will be folded in using double triangle fold from origami. The ones that have red circle around mean they are meant to go in pair in order for them to work.

By the idea, it should go like this: cut out the pages with some extra space around the yellow aditions, sew the middles together, fold the odd pages, cut them smaller-bigger as needed. The folding should be done secondly, because if for some reason the signature doesn’t seem to work with that particular odd page, you can still cut the odd page into simple page and you don’t need to redo the entire thing. Plus this way you can still fix the size if you got it a bit off and it will be easier to see, which side you need to fold the side door so it would work as pair to the other one. After binding it all – THEN begins the writing and painting part.

1. The normal page.

2. and 3 is inside-signature version of nr 18. If to add them like this to the signature, they open up like “doors” of nr 18.  The same principle works on 8-9, 19-20 and 20-21 pairs.

6, 12, 18, 24 and 30 are the middle pages of signature, which meant they could be designed as one page. I wanted to use Turkish map fold there, but that proved to be too thick if I want to keep the book from opening up on that place by itself. But basically it can be played around any way you want.

14 is just a show-off how different you can make the side door. The side doors or the wrap-ins should be slightly smaller than the actual page for better folding.

25 is the square version of the circle, but the principle is the same. I do add a lot of circles in, because if to look at divination part alone, there are many charts that are circular in shape. Also nice place to draw some maze or perhaps rose circle or where to add odd symbols and write around them their meaning. In short – there are tons of uses to such strange shaped pages for things you could simply push there, adding space for general talk and descriptions.
the glory of that particular addition doesn’t come out from the image – it must be seen. And if I manage to pull it off as I plan, it will be awesome!

Nr 19, 20 and 21  shows how it is possible to design one side of the signature completely unconnected with the style you use on the other side. The only thing that needs to unite in style is the middle page. The grey hole indicates a window cut into the page. Medieval manuscripts often had holes in parchment and the artists would make peep-holes to the next page, where they would then add a dragon or something to look out of that hole. I liked them.

16 and 11 are open pockets. Nr. 11 is what my grandmother used to do in the notebooks if she wanted to keep something there that would otherwise fall out – seeds, beads, dried herb. It is done by folding in the ends from both end of the rectangular page like you would when you are making square piece in origami. I found later visual aid how it is done. But it can be done other ways too :). For nr 16, you fold in the sides and then on top of them the bottom strip, gluing the squares together. The reason this pocket goes through the signature is that it steadies it better. Plus you can use minimum glue which in 10 years you are very happy about.

Nr. 26 shows stripped page. We all have those tiny recipes that look weird written on big page. My solution is this – cut one side of the signature page and leave the other side complete. This will assure that they break off less. I hope. This can be done with side doors as well. I’m opting this to be technique I’ll try to keep minimum – the less smaller parts that can break off, the better.

Nr. 13.  There are always small lists, alphabets that also don’t need much space. So you don’t need large side doors everywhere. Sometimes it will be enough if you just have a strip.

Nr 27, 28 and 29.  In some cases I saw possibility to especially nuts :D. Like this case! Nr 28 acts like a switch page for two different charts. I have two divination systems that ask for something like this, so it looked like a cool thing – two running tracks next to each other. Or you can simply do something like that to present Circle of Moon and Circle of Year next to each other in comparable results.

Yup, this was what I was up to on the Second Yule Day. I just wanted to share as I know there are many, who are currently making their book of shadows and are in planning stage. Why not mess around a bit? It’s our book after all :). I do give open license to use this chart for your BoS and for ideas. No point of just copying them – unless you think it through first, the results are probably not working. No permission given to commercial uses.

odd pages plan for a book

odd pages plan for a book

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Luain of Nettleweed

I have revamped my tarot blog to respond more about my needs. What is the best way to recall what you have learned? By typing it once more. So I have began translating my Luain in English for that blog. It is as much as info for others as it is for myself. I like my book of shadow, but the reality is, half of the notebooks I have as my Luain, have no order in them, plus some notebooks are as old as I am. It’s why I’ve began making my new Luain as well.

I have began translating it in English for three reasons.

One – you don’t speak Estonian. If I put it up in Estonian, it wouldn’t make much sense in the universal internet community.  Yes, it puts me out there openly as a witch, but, well, I’m tired of being half way in half way out with this and taking that I have now 15 years (thank you brother for being the calculator) of experience behind me (and still learning), there are things I have I can share.

Secondly, I want this information to last. What I have in those notebooks might seem at first as any typical information you can find – runes, tarot, whatnot… But the reality is – most of that info is from notebooks or sources that came from 1970s or 1980s. I have read the today’s versions and seen quite big differences between them. For example I Ching – it isn’t just a name of hexagram plus oneliner – the version I have was passed on on photo copies since 1940s and it has quite lenghty entries for each hexagram. Of course it isn’t as good as is original, which I don’t have, but I like the version I have. It makes sense. So I think it would be good to happen on a text like that as well in form that can be shared.

Thirdly, I want to relearn what I have in those books. Repetition is the mother of knowledge. So, why not go through it again? I will be writing it all in the book, when I get it finished (and I have just ordered and payed for the paper – so yay!!!).  I landed on a problem – how much space would it actually take to write? How much space should I count for it? And how would be the best to organize it? How many empty pages would be wise to add? Because though I plan to put in it all the basics, it would be good to add pages in case I find something interesting again, like adding gods to my pantheon. So yeah, it seems good idea to take it up. It will have things in it like soap making as well, but that’s because half of the witchy possibilities and crafts are household related. Like table of porridge materials and water portions in which they make which kind of porridge and etc. I want this book to be one that I can take with me, if something happens and to cover the most basics of survival as well. Because I can be thousand miles away from home, but if it is porridge day, then I want to offer my gods the best porridge I can make despite the fact that I’m stranded on a loneley island. Plus the simple herbal remedie mixes and lists of local herbs and spices… You get the picture I hope.

So yes, it being my personal Book of Shadows – make the best of the information you get from it. Use it wisely. Understand that these spells, rituals and customs are created as they are because I follow rules that may seem odd to you now (like the fact that spells have no undoing – divirting, yes, but no undoing) and because I live in Northern Hemosphere. Take it as an example – ask if you don’t understand something. Argue, if it doesn’t make sense. But never use it just as it is and then complain that it doesn’t work. Witchwork is two parts of knowledge and one part of trust in yourself and in your surroundings. Experiment and have fun :).

Oh, and remember – for a while, the information is definetly not complete. I have four Book of Shadows, which I hope to put together in one. It will take time to get all the info up. But when it gets done, I hope it to be the sort of a system, that you can check back to find ideas for your sabbths or find things to do alone and with your family for entire year plu for any occation that might rise its ugly head.

Or perhaps organize it to the sort of Year and a Day program I would have gone and taken if offered. The sort where you began from any given holiday and follow up the entire year, celebrating the holidays when they arrive, feeling the powers of the season, collecting tools throughout the year in their appropiate times, feasting and harvesting in their right time.

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Thoughts on book design

Would you believe it – this is a wannabe book model. This happens when I get bored early in the morning before the Sun rises. SAMSUNG

As I mentioned before, the new Oak Tree notebook is adorable, but up for a major facelift when I’m done with the first pages.

So I thought that as the design of the outer crust is adorably bohemian in some light, why not go off the grid and have fun with the inside, too? As I already pretty much know what goes in it, I might as well create pages accordingly, right? Like add the extra space for tarot pages so I could add the spreads around the page or make a circle pop-up for the page I know will hold pendant chart or ogham circle with all the tree leafs painted on the edge to leave more space for the text. You know, little stuff.

This is concentrated version of it.  The real concentration of the pages per signature will probably be less crowded, with 1 or 2 odd page per signature. With such things you always need to make a model first to see how they fit or work and that’s what you see here.  Very tiny model of the odd page probabilities. I didn’t add here a Turkish map folding page though. It might be interesting addition, but I’m not sure anymore.

What happened to the big Luain? Still in business. It just takes time and time and time. I do have my original notebooks, which I showed you here too and I must say if I have need to find something, I still rather search them out than go for the big book. So perhaps I just want it, but don’t really need it? I still travel a lot and I rather need something that I can carry with me than something that just sits in one place and irritates me with the fact that the night I need it, it is somewhere else than I am. So for the time being I’ll just use it to practice illuminating texts.  I’ve learned already great deal on how the unsealed colored pencil work neatly presses itself on to the next page if you don’t add the other page in-between…

I also will note down two things I saw in dreams for my own sake.

In my dream I saw  Wind in the Willows character Mr. Toad tell to Ratty: “I have the utmost craving for rat meat!” Then he looked at the shocked Ratty and shrugged “Don’t worry, flying rats are off my menu!”
Ratty nodded, shook his plastic wings and took off from the red tiled roof they were sitting.

Another thing I saw was that I was in a Hanseatic fair and I approached to a young woman, who was baking a cake in a small, very low oven. She just took one out and I asked if I could taste it. “No,” she said, “it’s for the children in the play tent.” So instead I asked for the recipe, because it was smelling so good and she agreed. I sat down next to her and searched for a pen and paper. At the same time some children came and she cut them the cake. I was woken up before she could get back to me, but I did pick the cake up and counted 7 layers of thin chocolate sponge cake with custard cream in between and covered with the same sponge cake powder on top of the last custard cream layer. The cake itself was cooked in a low cake pan. Or warmed up?

By the way, I changed the header of the journal. This is Sokiloom, my own creation.

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Pentagram page start

I started Luain’s new page! I just wanted to do something totally different on this time of endless writing and feeling swamped. Can’t wait to get home and paint it. A lovely pentagram page with greenery surrounding it. Looking at the page made me think about the planetary hours again I never wrote in the book. As awful as it sounds, I don’t connect with it at all. I tried keeping my eye on them and see the difference, but it just isn’t clicking. I’ll keep it open page though, won’t write anything else there right now. It’s just… I’ve always followed the system that I found years ago before knowing anything more about planetary hours and it has worked well for me. But now, learning the new “side” of it and so far I haven’t managed to get it right for me at all. Like it’s messed up. Plus I would need to add page next to it explaining the planetary powers, so now that I think of it I think I should make a two page bordered double instead with the table and explanations. Which is nice as now I can find something else to put there.

I am unsettled about the elements though. I understand that wiccans follow certain way of it, but I’ve always felt closer to one representing Sass’ view (I know who he is, so that matters) and Chinese view. This is, the top of the pentagram is green tree and the bottom is metal. Air is all around us, so is it around the pentagram and spirit is in the centre (though that isn’t the classical view of it, but that’s how I feel).

New series has caught my attention called The Secret Circle. The idea itself is… simple, but they have books there that caught my attention. Perhaps because I’m drawing the page again. Some of the ideas used for those pages could end up in my book, but we’ll see about that.

The calling for God still is freaking me out, but after going through most of my “wise” books, I’m come to conclusion that though it has frightened me, it wasn’t because of the god that appeared, but because of the message itself and that’s a good thing.

I wanted to draw mandala few days ago. Put that idea aside for now. Should the idea return, I’ve got materials and papers ready. Couldn’t put my paintings back where I held them so far, but one thing is good – the heater is cold! I am so glad! I rather have slightly cooler place than Finnish sauna.

Past few days I’ve started thinking on Native Americans. I don’t know why they are drawing my attention, but they are. I’ll see soon, right?

Two packages are arriving tomorrow :). One from friend in US, other from Balscand. And if I’m lucky, I get to go and collect the stone set from Post24 tomorrow, too. At least if the remark behind my order is valid and they have sent them out. I’m so exited! I’ll be doing meeting with the Provider then, because I’ll have the frankincense essential oil, myrrh essential oil and pine, too! Also, I can boil some “tea” with pine and oak. I will try to do the burning outside, but the downside of it is now the rising storm. Yay! We are in the season of storms.

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de Luain updates

I’ve been so far only talking about my BoS without showing it. Well, there wasn’t much to see either – the book was there, quietly waiting for its time.

The first image is my 3 old books, which weren’t really my BoS as they were often used by others as well.  According to the front they were known as the Red Book, the Black Book and the Rose Book.

The third image is my current BoS, I call it de Luain. Just started calling it so one day and liked it.  It is a very simple handmade binding with real leather. I planned to go for something fancier, but when I got to the artist, I saw it and fell in love. Simple, elegant and stunning. The ribbons I added myself according to the colour sceme – dark green (to match the altar cloth), blue and bright yellows. When its not been written, it sits in black cloth away from peeking eyes.

The second image is a small tool I made for myself to keep the lines in order. As the paper of my book shows through, I made this small grit to help me planning it out. As I can’t add or remove the pages, one has to take extra care to make it pretty :).

The second row is images from inside the book. The first two are Love Oracle. It was the first page I ever made in the book. I didn’t dare to start with the first page, so instead took my courage up with some other page.  Also got the same type of extra pages so I could test out the colours and how much it takes water, etc. The third image is from Rose Book. It’s the pendulum chart I copied and adjusted. Since I first saw the magical books, I’ve had this image of a book that can be used on the spot. Like if you search for a pendulum chart and you find it, you can use it on the spot. Also I’ve never liked indexing my books. When you are forced to search instead a quick look up, you might find other solutions better suited for your need. 🙂

Third row. The images on the edges are from the Red Book, the oldest of mine. I got it from my grandmother, who said the calendar note book was exactly as old as I was. So now I’m feeling like holding it with white gloves, because the pages are pretty worn out and yellow, like old book should look like. It’s why I didn’t bother staining the pages to look older. They will in time :).

The middle image is a close-up of the only beautification de Luain has. A tiny silver owl that sits in the back panel of the book. It is actually a small metallic bookmark and can be removed, but without pulling it, it sits there nicely and it doesn’t bother when turning the pages.

The fourth is just some images to show what the first three have been like so far. de Luain will be full painted manuscript when I’m finished, but the others are sort of notebooks where I can collect the information, so I can choose what to put in de Luain. But I think the trio will always be there to support her as there is a lot what I’m not including in the big book. Nor will the smaller ones have everything that is in the big one. :).

The last row is the wheel of the year from de Luain. The problem I face, when trying to see where the pagan holidays fit in with my regular calendar, is that there really isn’t a problem. But there are many other holidays beside it that I also take in count. For example the holy Mary’s days (there’s plenty of them in our calendar), which itself aren’t really holidays, but which mark certain points in the nature. Like the spring time Mary’s day that indicates the return of the birds and so on. Or St. Martin’s Day or St. Cathrin’s day, which instead are fully pagan holidays and very much celebrated by the entire nation.

So when I thought about it, I made my wheel of the year so that all those holidays that count to my family are in there. As I said before – there’s no reason not to celebrate their holidays along with yours.  The result was slightly odd looking Sun (because its’ a sun year). The middle of the sun is embellished with golden star that show on the edges when the Sabbaths take place. The green and blue rays indicate the full year divided by astrological signs. The tips that reach the outer circle indicate the change of month. Between them you see smaller rays of darker and lighter yellow. These are days – symbolically each of the length is 5 days, 30 days in each.  It’s not meant to be one-on-one with actual calendar, just showing when to expect the next holiday, so I see no problem if the month has one more or few days less. The number in front of the holiday indicates the date in the month the holiday occurs.Under the Sunwheel are some more information on moving holidays and Sabbaths.

I’m just so proud of it right now – took me two days to count and measure and paint.

So yes, this is what it looks until now. Time consuming perhaps, but in the end I hope it will make a nice family treasure that will tell next generation how to follow the traditional path, how to fix it in everything else and when start preparing for the next time so you would have a nice calm year.




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de Luain 2

Nüüd kui pool aastat on taas möödas (ei tea küll, miks see nii käib), tuli mulle järsku kui selgest taevast lõpuks arusaam, mis selle raamatu esileht peaks olema! Kuus kuud ja ma ainult tuulasin neid raamatuid ja nüüd tean ja see pole ligilähedalgi neile kaunitele lehtedele, mida ma vaatasin, kuid midagi isiklikku ning head. Lisaks on ta vahepeal omandanud hunniku paelu järjehoidjateks ning kena tillukese metallist öökulli, mis istub raamatu otsas nagu valatud. Magab ta aga musta rätiku sees nagu kord ja kohus. Algul polnud mul kavaski musta võtta, kuid siis leidsin tüki kangast, kust ta räti jagu kenasti välja tuli.

Vahepeal hankisin endale küünalde jaoks korraliku kasti ja organiseerisin ära kogu oma varanduse – lõhnad ühte metallkarpi, vannitoa pommid ja muu teise, küünlad tööriistakasti… Jep. Tööriistakasti. Sest sel hetkel, kui ma käisin otsimas seda õiget kasti, pidin ma pea kreepsu saama, sest ainuke, kuhu antiikküünal sisse mahtus, oli tööriistakast. 

“Me laulame surmast, sest surm on mitmepalgeline, samas kui sünd on ühesugune.”
Vaesed lauljad… teil on vaja tõsist elukooli…

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