One would think that campaigns against drunk driving, choosing sober drivers for groups, helping to keep your drunk friends out of the water, etc is a positive thing. Is it really?
There have been a lot of them lately regarding it’s summer and a lot of people have vacations and they do drink far more than usual. All those commercials and adds thrive on one idea: the sober person should be responsible for the drunkard, when they get drunk.
My question is: WHY?
Why should we pamper the attitude that it is ok for the other to get dead drunk as long as there are friends, who put up with it? Why do friends put up with it? Do you value your good time so little that you agree to pamper that drunkard in your group just so you can spend all your free time wiping their ass?
Why does the society groups give out reminders to watch after your drunk friend and put the blame on the friend if something happens, not point the finger at the person, who got drunk and did the stupid thing in the first place? Why do we have campaigns for sober drivers for Midsummer’s Eve celebrations when we could try change the attitude that drinking yourself mindless is wrong?
Why does the society put the responsibility for them on the sober people? You go out with your friends, one gets drunk, goes nuts and then the others spend the rest of the night worrying for them. Why? Why can’t you have campaigns that tell you to drink responsibly? Take that one drink less and have fun with your friends! But no – we have campaigns that press on conscious on those, who already don’t drink that much so the “true members of society” can go nuts and forget that there are other people, who have to live with them through that ugly time and after they get sober again, too.
There was one especially that infuriated me. It tried to give a message that drinking is not something that affects other people around you as well. It is against the common saying (and excuse) that “I can do what I want and my drinking is not your business!”. Each time me and my brother heard it from the radio, we changed the channel. Why? The kind of commercial, where a sober person tries to explain how badly they are affected by the drunkard’s actions, is as if pointing the finger to the drunk and asking them to rethink. Have you tried to reason with someone, who is drunk? Would that stop them from drinking if they know they can get away with it, for if they are rude while they are drunk, then the others can’t do anything against it besides complaining. Nor does that matter to the drinker between their episodes. How I know that? My dear dad, who took my family through hell for 5 years by drinking hoards of alcohol per day, burst laughing and said that it is nobody’s business, when he is drunk besides himself. Little did he understand, why we couldn’t find anything funny in it. For as good meant as the message is, we also had to go through it and we know how ill-targeted the commercial is. It doesn’t affect the drinker one bit. However, it did give the impression to non-drinkers are viewed as incapable victims and troublemakers.
I hate alcohol with vengeance. The fact that our country is propagating others to look after the drunks instead of pressuring the drunks to behave more ethical and drink just a little less so others wouldn’t have to spend their time on worrying and caring for them, is wrong. Very wrong!
Does it make me sound like less of a human being? Sounds like moaning over what should be good campaign? Have you ever been in situation where you had to sit hours by your friend, who talked about hating you, but you were too scared that they would do something if you walked out? Had to clean up after someone, who puked on your lawn and walked on? Had someone destroy your property and then pick a fight with you saying you deserved it? Did you have to wait hours until your friend got enough so you can take them home to safety? Have you tried to wake up someone, because you suddenly hear that they stopped breathing, because they are THAT drunk?
Did you enjoy it?
Then why do we have to put up with a campaign that tells us to go through with it again and again, but fail to address the drinker to take that one beer less so they can remain civil?
If anyone asks me now, would I then let my friend die if they would do something under the influence? No, of course not. I would try to keep them safe as much as I possibly can. It’s natural, after all, empathy at work. But then I’d like to know – why should I have a friend, who thinks that all I’m good for, is to keep them out of trouble, when they get drunk? You really think they appreciate this? That they don’t take it for granted? That they won’t start tossing me those calling cards of “those, who don’t drink, should take responsibility for those, who are drunk!”. Why pressure us with guilt? Are we guilty, if he drinks like that? Should we be imprisoned if they get drunk and kill someone, for we didn’t stop them from leaving our house drunk?
I know I have a lot of questions here without answers. That’s ok. You probably don’t have an answer to it before it happens to you. Unfortunately I saw too much of it in my life and I have very clear reasons for not taking it in my mouth. I stopped drinking completely after the incident at work, when we tried with his girlfriend to do CPR to a guy, who was so drunk he didn’t wake up in the morning. Talk about hell on earth. I remember sitting up half the night after that and thinking how oddly my life has gone full circle from birth to death in just few years and I’m not even 30 yet. Kind of put things in perspective.
Friends, family members and those, who drink less or nothing at all, should not be made responsible for the actions of the drunkards! We should not go through extra pain and read/hear/see messages urging us to take more responsibility, so they can get more drunk! They should think about drinking less, not get the message that it is ok as long as someone in the group can be talked into being the sober driver for the night or be responsible that drunk friend doesn’t go swimming. We should not be babysitters for someone, who decides to care so little for others. It is NOT our responsibility! They are grown ups, who are supposedly be responsible for their own actions in the face of law! Our good will should not be used to urge their wrong behavior!