Day 38 – 42

Update and answers to the questions asked in the chapters:

Day 38:

I haven’t done this exercise. I wanted to do it when I was at work, because then I get to see the sunrise, but not one has appeared this past week. That’s what you get when doing this in mid autumn. But being fond of sunrises I can say that what ever they talk about sunrise energies – they are absolutely right.

Day 39:

I can guess, but I think many of us know this sign by heart :).

Day 40:

I lit the candle, but I didn’t do the evoking. As I explained – I needed time out. Odd was, though I was at home that evening and dealing with other things, I do think someone was standing behind me. Doing absolutely nothing, but I know there was someone behind me and though I wasn’t feeling all happy about it, it wasn’t disturbing either. Same guy I think…

Day 41:

The positive would be that I do recognize the value of rules and borders and know how useful they can be. On the other hand I get stuck in them just as often and feel like I’m locked in now and then. Also, I have problem completing my writing tasks, so I do believe I need his help.

I do have problem with the father figure. God knows I have a problem with it. You love them and hate them, but having a father is definitely better than not having one. Still, from child’s point of view – they could do better and whine less. At least in front of the kid. At the same time, I’ve met some awesome dads and myself have several men in my life, whom I consider sort of like a second dads and if you put them all together, you’d get one mighty daddy. So I’m torn between bad-ish and fantastic father figures. I rather would go with the good though, but if your own dad ruins your mood during the day, it’s really hard to keep the mood up to meet god few hours later. Oh, about meeting him – the lovely Sun has taken I believe a full-time vacation and probably we won’t see him for couple days more.

By the way I find it sort of interesting that Provider’s attributes are red, Mercury and chamomile. I’ve found myself often thinking on this planet lately and on gemstones of that particular planet and chamomile.

My thoughts on male divinities. The only true male divinity so far in my life has been Christian God. I haven’t turned to anybody else much, because I trust him completely. I’m a bit afraid, yes, but not so much gods themselves as of who of them appears. Like the last meeting – whoa! It’s new territory to actually choose a god and call them. Which, of course, don’t mean you get who you ask for. Most of time I’m intrigued though and gladly learn this part.

Is Wicca a way for you to escape male divinities?

Absolutely not! I have problem with Dianic wicca and covens, who only worship female divinities. Not so much problem with themselves as of understanding it. I believe that world has two sides in everything and the mixes of it in-between, so empowering-worshiping only one means you kick yourself and your surroundings out of balance. You need both, mother and a father. No need to add about middle sex – that would be just bending my words (read the paragraph again). I get angry when I think of Wiccans, who are driven to worship Goddess, because they think Christian is male centered religion – think a bit outside the box here. What was it that caused the original problem? Preferring one over the other! To me they are both important and I believe that only their balance in your life is what gives you the peace you search for in your life.

Day 42:

I actually know the answers to this, but that’s personal.

Now that this part is done, let’s talk about gemstones!

I haven’t done the physical and mental cleaning of them yet. I was planning it on Full Moon, but with our blurry weather, I don’t think it matters much at this point when I actually do it. I need to load them somehow and I am thinking of the ways as we speak. I did try them on Kabbalah tree today. I happened on an image few days ago where planets were put on Etz and it stuck in my head. Been thinking on it since and today I decided to try it out.

Kabbalah hasn’t been my think for years. I’ve read now and then about it, but never really focused or never fully understood it. Even when it was expressed through tarot cards, I still didn’t get it.

Still, it was fun to see it in crystal form.


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